© Chad Clark 17-5-02

1) Expecting help with heavy things – if you want to play with boys toys then D.I.Y., as most married men have learnt to.

2) Using up all the drinking water to wash your hair – if you wanna be a macho dive babe then you should either shave it all off or be content to look like a drowned rat.

3) Giving long admiring looks to the tall, dark, handsome, poofter Italian dive guide with a flat stomach and a ponytail whilst the rest of us are setting up our equipment.

4) Getting off with the tall, dark, handsome, poofter Italian dive guide with the flat stomach and ponytail the very same evening, leaving me to play with my equipment.

5) Using less air than me.

6) Calling fins ‘flippers’. Flipper is a dolphin – and although some of his parts may be pink, that’s where the similarity ends………..

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