Mix mag

I had a religious experience today with Mildred the Manta. It usually happens at the end of a dive when you’re locked at 5 metres and low on air. But today, having promised ‘er indoors’ I’d behave and stick to 25, (well, maybe she said 20, but 25’s closer than 30), I had bucketfuls of air left and was hanging out around Ras Ghazlani when this apparition appeared out of the blue. A veritable vision of peace and beauty, effortlessly gliding along against the current with her chaperone remoras. Our eyes met. We connected. I spread my arms out wide, as if to embrace her, and finned out from the reef, over and under her, in front and behind her. On several occasions she seemed to hover below me for more than a moment, as if offering me a ride on her back, but I just couldn’t bring myself to reach down and touch her. Suddenly, she flicked her wings and was off into the blue, but always casting a backward eye in my direction – they can do that, mantas. Just as I thought she’d gone forever, she pirouetted on her tail and headed back towards me and down, sweeping gracefully up to slow and ‘stand’, belly up, in front of me before we both looped the loop in unison. Dancing with Mantas! Angels were singing. My heart was full of joy and love, my life became a better place, I was at peace with the world, and then Mildred buggered off and left me. They can do that too, mantas. Especially the women – but then you can’t do it without them. If I’d had the same experience with, say, Malcolm the Manta, it wouldn’t have been nearly so orgasmic. To form a deep, meaningful physical relationship with another male is not on my agenda. I’ll hold my sons hand, possibly even my fathers, but that’s about the limit. For example, it was not young Master Derrick the Dolphin, but Donna the sweet baby Dolphinette who, having tired of head butting me in the chest, grabbed my wrist in her mouth and took me for a dive, twice, whilst I was snorkelling in Nuweiba. That was one hell of a rush. I nearly drowned, but somehow she seemed to know just when I couldn’t last any longer and took me up for one, deep lungful of air before pulling me off and down again. I was walking around for days in a daze, proudly showing off the dolphin teeth marks on my wrist. If they’d have been Derricks’ teeth marks I’d have kept quiet. It’s not that I’m homophobic although, if I were, this would be a great place to be because homosexuality doesn’t exist here. I guess they just kiss a lot and hold hands because they’re cousins or something – but I simply cannot do it myself. It must be my public school education……………….